So, I got the first of two go-aheads on my new coding scheme and scope for the dissertation. I'm rejeuvenated and excited about doing the research, which is also somewhat of a relief as I'd been getting quite down on myself about it. I can't wait to begin coding!
I also just picked up my regalia for the masters graduation. I was just going to take a looksee at the stuff, but the bookstore guy was so helpful, and just gathered everything up so that I didn't have to make any additional decisions, that I decided to go for it. Now that it's done, I'm feeling a tiny bit giddy, so I believe I made the right decision.
About 20 minutes ago, I just sent my revised coding protocols to my chair and one committee member. The weekly diss meetings and daily email checkins are having a positive effect.
So, I've been enjoying a mostly pain-free day, until I began writing up my coding matrix for distribution to my committee on my whiteboard. All of the sudden, my left arm (which is holding a piece of paper) begins to kill me - pain shooting down the bicep area in a wide swath, eventual tingling in my hand, and just, you know, pain. Obviously, I need to stop working, right?
Wrong. In the same way that ice cream doesn't cause drownings, I am choosing to believe that correlation does not imply causality. The same type of thing did happen during my meeting with my chair last week, so the evidence could be seen as mounting, but of course I've had pain while talking on the phone, walking, talking with people I like, falling asleep (or waking up at 3am), eating chocolate, and during many other pleasurable activities. I've also not had pain when carrying somewhat heavy objects, writing emails or blog posts, bending over to pick up the cat, or even reading at the computer. Confirmation bias, anyone?
PS Tech support has fixed my computer, which had a fried motherboard. Awesome!
- Lock keys in car at parking garage. Not a huge deal, I just went to my appointment, then took mass transit to Mr. S's office, got keys, rescued car, returned keys.
- On my way in to school, I see a man in a modified wheelchair roll backwards off the curb and fall onto the street. I pull over to help him up after seeing someone else look back and then keep walking. He's ok, but a little scraped up, and I have no Purell or anything else to offer.
- I get to school to find that my computer has had a "thermal event" and no longer boots. No idea when someone will come to take a look, or when I'll get it back. It's the last week of the quarter here, and I've got some diss and work stuff there that I haven't backed up, which means I'll have to recreate some of the work I did on Friday.
- I find another computer to work on, but I seem to have left the sheet of all the passwords I'll need today at home.
- I can't go home and get them because I need to stay available for the tech people (#3).
That's pretty much it, so far, but it's not even 11am.
Should I walk to get my Masters degree? Here are my thoughts, pros and cons jumbled together:
It is indeed an achievement. I will get to wear regalia and practice for the "real thing" which is the Ph.D. graduation (which won't happen for a while). The fact that I'm thinking of it as practice is a con. It's only a few hours out of my life, so it could be a good thing to do. I don't really know any of the other MS students I'll be graduating with, though, since it's been so long since I've entered the program. It could provide a sense of achievement which I could probably use. I'm not thrilled about the speaker - I like and admire this person, but I have heard them speak in much more intimate venues, so it's not really as exciting a choice as it might be. I haven't invited my family to come because I don't feel like it's that big a deal - everything really does suffer in comparison to what I haven't yet accomplished re: the Ph.D. And yet, it is a big deal. I can't believe I actually did it, so I should proably walk to prove to myself that I've accomplished something.
I'm only recently beginning to realize how incredibly hard I am on myself. Reading the above list, and reflecting on other happenings of late, I'm kind of stunned by the weight of the judgments I've been carrying around. I'm working on being kinder and more aware, which is a good thing.
In neck news, things are slowly improving - in spite of the annoying tingling that has begun happen in my hand, in conjunction with the pencil-eraser of pain at the top of the crook of my elbow, I seem to be able to re-align in such a way that it goes away eventually. My goal, obviously is to have multiple days in a row where it doesn't happen at all. That requires more diligence on my part, but I'm hopeful.
