My car has been out of commission for a while – I haven’t actually driven in since late March, because the battery died for no discernable reason. Pique, perhaps. In any case, today was going to be the day that we got the car running, and then cleaned out and vacuumed both cars.
We cleaned one of the cars, got everything else set up and flipped the vacuum switch. A strange clicking, far above our heads, ensured. Further investigation showed the clicking to come from a security light fixture that we’ve never liked, can't reach with our tallest ladder, and don’t know how to dismantle.
You know, I’m totally bored even writing this all down, so here’s the short form:
- Vaccuum cleaner trips light in some weird way that we can’t reach or fix.
- That same fuse also powers the garage door opener, which remains open, showing our disordered clutter to one and all who pass. Humiliating, but what can you do?
- I start cleaning out the dead battery car, and I find the Nalgene bottle I've been missing for a while, which contains about three swallows of cloudy brown liquid.
- I don't remember, and I don't want to know.
- I also discover unaccountably moist objects, and powdery mildew growing in odd places.
- Investigating further, I find about an inch of standing water in the wheel well. WTF?!
- I bail that out, then mop things up a bit.
- We get the car jumped, which was one of the original intents of the day.
- Preparing for a battery charging drive, I put in a cassette tape that I’d discovered in the other car, a relic of the previous owners which is intriguingly labeled Beginning and End. I like the first 30 seconds of what I’m hearing, get excited about having found a treasure, and then the tape catches and snags and breaks. Fine.
- As I reverse out of the driveway, the grating sound from the front wheel wells is discovered to be the fault of two fairly flat tires.
- I maneuver the car to a parking place on the street without event, although an unmarked police car was leaving the parking lot across the street (the car’s registration expired in April).
- I breathe a sigh of relief about that, pick up the spare tire to put it back in the car, and get slimed by the crud that was growing underneath it. Of course.
- I’m done.
- After seventeen (!) years of ownership, I think I’m finally ready to say goodbye to the Mighty. Even if it does get about 40 MPG.
So long, Fester.
